A brief compilation of phrases I utterly detest

Distressed = distressing

A perfectly good piece of furniture made to look shit.

These five phrases really piss me off:

1. Shabby chic
Ugh. Take a piece of furniture, make it look tatty. “Distress” it. Sell it as some sort of ‘lifestyle’ design to people who think it makes their home look cool in some vague bohemian way. A complete oxymoron.

2. Going forward
The most unnecessary and useless waste of words. Whenever you see these two words together, mentally remove them and read the sentence again. See? Makes no difference to the meaning (but vastly improves the sentence).

3. To be honest
Suggests the speaker hasn’t been until now.

4. Key Performance Indicator (KPI)
Corporate wank. No. Just no.

5. Lifestyle
What the fuck does this even mean? It is used to sell products, to demean people’s sexualities, to suggest that what you spend money on and how you look is your life (no doubt for some people that may sadly be true). It is a term one is supposed to buy into. Empty and meaningless.

Did I miss anything out? Share your hated phrases in the comments.

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3 comments

  1. maristravels

    Words and Phrases that piss me off.
    Concept – what’s wrong with idea?
    Hard-working people (when uttered by a politician).
    Blue-sky thinking together with pushing the envelope.
    and my favourite ‘hate’, ‘…Bless ….’
    and I’m very much with you on ‘distress’. Hey! I grew up with distressed furniture only I didn’t know it was fashionable!

      • maristravels

        Just read a new one today, ruff lux! To save you racking your brains as to its meaning, it is luxury in a rough setting, as in a trendy, expensive restaurant where the walls are unfaced, bare brick, or eating from newspapers with napkins of the same in a well carpeted restaurant! There’s a whole new world out there.

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